[The reminder of the party stings. The reminder that Stolas went-- which was well within his right, even if he'd never been an "ex" because they'd never been together. Blitzø makes another ugly little aborted sound, slowly sitting down and hunching forward, collecting himself.]
I do, Stolas, I want-- the stupid shit, I want. [He smudges the heel of one hand over his eyes.] I want to watch movies with you, I want to sit and drink coffee with you, I want to go fucking grocery shopping with you. I want you in my life but I've fucked this up so badly what does saying it even mean? I don't want you to get on that train, not unless I'm on it with you-- I breathe easier when you're near me, I fucking sleep better with your stupid little hooting snores, you're warm and soft and sweet, trying to live without you has been like drinking shitty black coffee when I got used to the best creamer in Hell, okay? [He's folded forward so his forehead is against his knees, so all of this is kind of yelled at the floor, but at least he said it, maybe? Maybe Stolas would get it, now that he said it instead of trying to say it with actions. He'd never been good with words.]
[As Blitzø began his little heart to heart ramble of his, Stolas's head spun to stare at the little imp. He didn't know if the hellborn realized or not, but this was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him. It was getting a little hard to breath with the swell of emotions that bubbled in his chest. He had never seen the imp so honest about what he felt, well... if he wasn't being yelled at anyways.
There wad still this dark voice that creeper along the edged of his mind. After all that's he's done, did he deserve to be happy? Choking that thought down for now, Stolas simply scoots a little in Blitzø’s direction to lean over to rest his shoulder on his.]
[Blitzø, for his part, just blubbers into his knees when Stolas doesn't just lean into him, but says what he does. He doesn't unstick his mouth enough to make any of it words, eventually giving up entirely and coughing a short series of hitched half-sobs before he sits up, smearing large hands over his face. It's graceless, but a similar gesture to the forced calm Stolas had taken on after sobbing into his lap at the party. It's hardly intentional, just-- yet another way they were too similar.]
[He withers sideways into Stolas' shoulder, hands still over his face.] Fuuuck I would like to exchange emotions for Not Emotions, thanks.
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I do, Stolas, I want-- the stupid shit, I want. [He smudges the heel of one hand over his eyes.] I want to watch movies with you, I want to sit and drink coffee with you, I want to go fucking grocery shopping with you. I want you in my life but I've fucked this up so badly what does saying it even mean? I don't want you to get on that train, not unless I'm on it with you-- I breathe easier when you're near me, I fucking sleep better with your stupid little hooting snores, you're warm and soft and sweet, trying to live without you has been like drinking shitty black coffee when I got used to the best creamer in Hell, okay? [He's folded forward so his forehead is against his knees, so all of this is kind of yelled at the floor, but at least he said it, maybe? Maybe Stolas would get it, now that he said it instead of trying to say it with actions. He'd never been good with words.]
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There wad still this dark voice that creeper along the edged of his mind. After all that's he's done, did he deserve to be happy? Choking that thought down for now, Stolas simply scoots a little in Blitzø’s direction to lean over to rest his shoulder on his.]
Me too.... I feel the same way.
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[He withers sideways into Stolas' shoulder, hands still over his face.] Fuuuck I would like to exchange emotions for Not Emotions, thanks.